10 years...

10 years seem like just yesterday...All the pain from the past kept on coming back as if the old scar is being sratched off to make me bleed to death.

I would give anything just to feel your warm embrace...Just to feel your love again...Just to hug you tight...


Everytime I see those people being showered with the kind of love I hunger for, I slowly die of envy...
How I wished so bad to be on their place... to mend this heart that is left so empty...
Those ten years that I slowly embraced the reality of your parting...seems not enough to heal the wounds and wash away my agony.



Mama, there's a lot of things I would like to tell you..So many things I could not share to anyone else but you...
Things I'd rather keep to myself than tell anyone...
Things that makes my head spin, that only you, can understand within.


Are you proud of me?
Are you happy to see me grow as a woman who became strong even when you left me?
Are you amazed by how I survived in this world and struggled  to live for my brothers?


Ma, I am not that strong... not only once or twice did I think of ending my life because I was too weak to bear all the pain...

But I'm glad to still be alive.




Even now, I'm still enduring everything.
And I know that a big part of it, is because of you.


I may not be the  perfect daughter in the world.... But in my heart, I'll forever perfectly keep a huge space for you...

I love you so much, Ma...

Happy 48th birthday... T_T

Eureka!

These past few weeks, I kept on thinking about what the purpose of my existence is...
And now, I suddenly found an answer.
The answer to some, but not all the million questions in my mind.
Like "How do you find the right reasons to smile?"
I guess it's the APPRECIATION.
A feeling of being appreciated and being able to make people see your worth.

New life- No more.

I stopped to breathe for a while...
As I stared blankly at the sky..
I've just been so lonely all these years...
My eyes are only filled with nothing but tears...



My life has been so dark til this day.
Not even a glimpse of  sunlight can pass through a way.
Like it's doomed with sadness forever.
Like a bird that cannot chirp a sound, but it just began to quiver.



No fragrant breeze can capture a sleeping soul
Like a luscious feast prepared but still starving for another bowl
A spot of hope is nowhere to be found.
Should I give up now or struggle for another round?


What could it possibly be?
I'm blinded by the pain that's killing me.
I can no longer trust myself if I can still endure this.
How can I fight for a life when now I only find it meaningless.

Asian Adventure Slideshow

Asian Adventure Slideshow Slideshow:  ★ Asian Adventure Slideshow Slideshow ★

Mail to Heaven

Dear God,


Why do I always feel so incapable of helping my friends in times of distress? :'(


Can you please enlighten me?


Thank you in advance.




It's me,
Your avid follower