Escape

I could hardly understand myself these past few weeks...

I get overly distracted...with some sudden switch of mood...and an impulsive decision-making thingy.

Getting easily annoyed and bitter over simple things.


I hate such feeling of depression that strikes like lightning; hurts like my heart is repeatedly hit by a hammer and then feeling the blood flowing down through my veins that activates this rushing adrenaline...

But I'm still trying my best to compose something...
Something worth being  read...
Out from nowhere .... the idea pops into my head.

I can come up with a LOT of words....adjectives to be exact--  that could best describe what I am feeling right now.....

Upset.
Discouraged.
Disappointed.
Bitter.
Envious.


And all these leads me to feel some  sort of emptiness....Like I'm:

Being rejected.
Unworthy.
Undesirable.
Being taken for granted.
and
Blaming myself and undergoing self-pity.



With this sudden realization that my thoughts are really not that bounty.
Right before my very eyes,instantly,I'm beginning to reflect why am I doing this.



It's definitely not just an ordinary self-assumption  but rather a hostile feeling of being stuck in between these abrasive twists and turns of life.

It's hard to arrange my thoughts, put it into words and make it like a professional girl's blogsite.



For some reason, I'd like to find my way out --- far from this labyrinth.

And this makes me feel sad ...makes me feel bad...makes me feel mad
(Coz I can't have all I have wanted and asked).

My 2011-2012 Leave Planner

My boss is so kind! He approved my leaves on January 2012... :)

And I didn't have much problems with having a swap shift with Shah... I'm so lucky! :p

Be inspired. Breathe Again.

I persistently asked Marlo, my officemate who's going back to the Philippines for a short vacay, to buy me a copy of  my favorite male artist's newest album. Luckily, he was kind enough to say yes with this favor. Day by day, I was patiently (and eagerly) waiting for him to come back here in MY. Hoping that as he arrives, he already brought this such precious item.


Today, I got my long-awaited  copy of Jed Madela's latest album ''Breathe Again".  I can't find the perfect words to express how happy I am right now. Such a childish act as it may seem to other people. But this is who I am. This is what I want. This is what makes me HAPPY. And for the rest.... I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

proudly posing while holding Jed's album

Just thought of making another article here on my blog site for me to share such memorable moment of my life. Surviving  to be more and more independent while being a thousand miles away from home brings forth  courage to fight depression and unexplained sadness in my heart. But learning to face those struggles makes me more and more matured and optimistic no matter how irresolvable and hopeless a certain problem may seem to be.


Music is one  of my passions. And so as poetry. I love the combination of the two.... and I think, this album doesn't only soothe the soul but also can be described as a real masterpiece..More than a work of art. Like a heavenly blessing. A true inspiration...  ^_^


Because I got so overwhelmed, I posted a tweet that goes:

And I thought I'll be surprised by the CD alone. But after an hour of posting the above tweet...this is what I got........

This day is really insane! A simple 'thank you' meant so much to me... Though I may be considered to have a shallow happiness, right at this very moment, I think a wishing star might have just granted my simple wish... :)

Adele's "Someone Like You"

I heard that you settled down
That you found a girl and you're married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn't give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,"
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

My 2011 Leave planner

Last night, I haven't gotten enough sleep. But I became so eager to work upon receiving a confirmation from my boss regarding my leave requests!... and now, all I have to worry is my leave application for next year... ( sigh)