10 years seem like just yesterday...All the pain from the past kept on coming back as if the old scar is being sratched off to make me bleed to death.
I would give anything just to feel your warm embrace...Just to feel your love again...Just to hug you tight...
Everytime I see those people being showered with the kind of love I hunger for, I slowly die of envy...
How I wished so bad to be on their place... to mend this heart that is left so empty...
Those ten years that I slowly embraced the reality of your parting...seems not enough to heal the wounds and wash away my agony.
Mama, there's a lot of things I would like to tell you..So many things I could not share to anyone else but you...
Things I'd rather keep to myself than tell anyone...
Things that makes my head spin, that only you, can understand within.
Are you proud of me?
Are you happy to see me grow as a woman who became strong even when you left me?
Are you amazed by how I survived in this world and struggled to live for my brothers?
Ma, I am not that strong... not only once or twice did I think of ending my life because I was too weak to bear all the pain...
But I'm glad to still be alive.
Even now, I'm still enduring everything.
And I know that a big part of it, is because of you.
I may not be the perfect daughter in the world.... But in my heart, I'll forever perfectly keep a huge space for you...
I love you so much, Ma...
Happy 48th birthday... T_T
