What Should I Do?

I'm afraid of what might other people think about you.
 It scares me so much since I know for a fact that there is something about us that clashes our whole world.
People around us would probably react negatively.
 But I'm trying to ignore that because what matters most is just you and me.

Whirlwind Romance

I met you just yesterday...
In an unexpected time and place
As you walk past through me
Carrying a bunch of things like your bag, 
pillow and blanket sheet.




Saying "hi" seems too awkward
But I'm not so sure why I came to approach you first 
I just asked you a simple question and said " Moving out?"
For which came so naturally as I didn't expect any reply in return
But there you are...you stopped and peeked to whom the voice you've heard.






We exchanged our hello's and  contact details
And after that, everything went so fast
Way too fast that even I didn't notice.
I can't imagine how fascinating we ended up meeting again...
And for the second time, It felt so weird that my heart began thumpin'
It was then that I realized... I was beginning to like you.




I don't know what would happen in the future
All I know is I'm happy when I'm with you
It's enough for me to see your face each day
And hold on to your words saying that you love me... come what may.






Sunday  May 22, 2011  //   9 AM

May 2011 special events

May 14, 2011 ( Saturday)

     > Went to Batu Caves with Ange, Jill and Roy
     > Got some pictures of the temples
     > First visit @ Main Temple ( God Murugan)
     > Videoke Day at Kota Raya with the three
     > Had my very first nose piercing!
    

May 15, 2011  ( Sunday)

     > First swimming at Millenium Square with Ange and Jill
   

May 17, 2011 (Tuesday)
     > First holiday in the office
     > Made some macaroni pasta ( with mayo corned tuna and beans)
     > Swimming again at Mil. Sq. with Ange  

May 18, 2011    (Wednesday)
    > Got the good news! (Schedule slide and team transfer--soon)

사랑해요. , 남동생

사랑해요. , 남동생

Missin' Everythin'

I miss everythin' that reminds me of Pinas...
Miss ko na yung mga pagkaing ubod ng sarap...
Pancakes,puto't kutsinta, binignit, pansit, kalamay,
at maja blanca nila tita...
...Yung ever patok na patok na inun-unan ni lola,the
best talaga...lalu pa't may kasamang ginamos (bagoong), home made
na gawa niya...pati yung timpla niya ng atsara,
matatakam ka...


Miss ko na yung mga panahon na namumunga yung mga puno ng
mangga...Sabay ipapa-karboro lahat, wait lang na mahinog
while nakatambak sa bodega...


Yung magpapa-akyat ng buko tapos parang may buko salad
fiesta...Yung iba, i-she-shake ni Uncle John2x, yung iba
 diretso lafang na...Pati yung mga tambis, langka, mga sari-saring gulay at iba pa.


Miss ko na yung mga payo sa akin nila tito at tita...
"Oh, Marichris, 'wag kang mag-aasawa ng maaga ha?"
Mabuti na lang at ako'y beinte kwatro na...
Atleast napangatawanan ko ang pangako ko dati kay mama.


Ang problema lang ngayon, mukhang ako'y tatanda na lamang na dalaga.
Hindi naman ako pihikan pero ewan ko nga ba...
Sadyang mailap sa akin ang tadhana...
Puso ko'y marunong namang umibig pero bakit kay lamig nitong nadarama.


Buti na lang at andyan ang mga "super friends" ko...
Kahit na madalas ay napagkakaisahan nila ako.
Kung sa pang ookray at pang-gu-goodtime lagi akong talo,
Dun sila magagaling...buti na lng sanay na ako.


Miss ko na yung mga katropa ko nung high school...nung college...at mga workmates ko dati...
Mga taong naging parte ng buhay ko...mga taong ngbigay sakin ng inspirasyon...
Mga kaibigan sa hinaba man o inikli ng panahaon...
Yung mga dumamay sa hirap man o saya, sa mali man o tama, sa
kalokohan  at kulitan.


Mga super friends sa CHS, ZSNHS pati narin nung nsa Dominican pa ako.
salamat sa Facebook, nahanap ko pa yung ibang mga ex-classmates ko kahit na nung elementary pa...
Yung mga school buddies ko sa MU...na kahit yung iba lumipat na nga Medina...
Yung mga workmates sa first job ko sa SCC, pati narin mga students ko
(na I hope naman, eh nakagraduate na).
Mga kaibigan at close friends from Borbon Hospital...yung isa, kumare ko pa!
Mga naging officemates ko sa first call center job ko sa Suth, mga ka-level na virgin pa sa ganung larangan kami nagka-sama-sama.
Mga taong naging malaki ang impluwensya sa buhay ko...mga friends sa Manila hanggang Baguio.
Kung saan pa mang dako ako napadpad sa paghahanap ng kapalaran ko...
Ayun at may nagiging kapalagayang loob ako ng husto.


Ending ngayon, heto ako't nasa ibang dako ng mundo...
Although, 3 hours  mahigit lang naman ang byahe, hindi ganun ka-simple ang lahat...ayaw kong sumuko.
Ang buhay natin, kailangan ng kaunting sakripisyo, upang makamtan ang minimithing pag-asenso
At nang makaranas ng ginhawa at kaunting luho.


Miss ko na mga dabarkads na maya't maya nangungulit... Text dito, text dun...call dito, call dun...chat dito, chat dun... hayzzzz...


Nakakalungkot isipin na kay haba na pala ng mga taong lumipas.
Parang kailan lang, noong ngsisimula pa lang  akong tuparin ang mga pangarap ko...
Fortunately, I'm a step advance towards fulfilling my goals...
But I know, I can give better than my best ...I can achieve more...soon.


Naiisip ko tuloy, kailan ulit ako makakauwi sa probinsya?
Nakakalungkot talaga kasi malayo  pa rin ako...kahit na ba dito lang sa Malaysia.
Kung sana maka-ipon kahit pamasahe at konting pasalubong sa buong pamilya...
I'll keep my fingers crossed...sana kahit sa Pasko, makapiling ko sila.




Emo na naman ako dito...Aigoo...


MISHU ALL!!!  =(

Usa ka dakong AMBOT!!!

Ambot nganong naganahan ko nimo
Wala jud ko kabalo...unsaon man ni nako?
Akong mga amiga, dili botar sa imo
Tungod kay abi nila, basin pahilakon lang ko nimog husto.

Kahibawo ko nga sayo pa kaayo
Para masulti nako nga "I like you"
Unsaon man ni nako ron nga ganahan jud kaayo ko nimo
Sa adlaw-adlaw,gusto tika makit-an...malipay nako

Ikaw na ba ang gihatag sa Ginoo?
Og sa dihang nganong in-ani man akong nabatian...Lord, tabangi ko!
Oh basin usa lang kini nga dakong sayop tungod kay gimingaw lang ako
Kay layo ko sa amoa mao na in-ani kaha noh?

Di man unta ka bayot
Pero ngano ikaw magpa limot-limot?
Sulti nalang gud kung di ka ganahan
Porque sa ako dili ba ka gwapahan?


Kalimti ayaw kining tawhana
Bisan ako lamang usa ka dalaga
Nga naghinaot nga magmanggad sa imong gugma
Pasayloa lang ko kung ikaw ang  giangayan ko ug gipangga!


***WEh.....haiz...naunsa naman ko ui..Puros rani ka- yabag! Mao nani ron , wala may mabuhat mao in-ani nlng ..;pa blog2x nalang..maski dili siya makabasa!!!


***pasensiya-i lang gamay ni akong nakayanan mga  migo og miga....Lisod jud ning naa ka sa layo bah...Maski unsa2x nalang mahuna-hunaan...


**Exit sa ko kay ting uli na..Byers!

Mother's Day

May 8, 2011 --- My first mother's day abroad.  Little by little, the idea of being far from home creeps into my mind. There is a realization of the fact that I'm away from my native land. At first, I just kinda ignore that this is a different place. I wanted to stay focused on my new career while still enjoying my freedom. Freedom, to which I've been enjoying in the past 4 years after graduating from college.

As I slowly look back and reminisce what happened a year ago, I felt so empty this time. I was then so lucky to have been able to visit my mom's grave and had a small chat with her ( in spirit). But now, it feels so odd...Everything feels so barren...

Then, I decided to call almost everyone in the Philippines... But, WTF...they don't even answer my calls... I miss everybody... I miss the place... I miss the memories... How I wish they could all go here so we could spend our lives together...  I couldn't really hope to go home this time because that would mean one thing--- FAILURE. I cannot let myself lose with this direful situation. I guess it's never easy to be in a foreign land. I guess, I wouldn't just give up...

After a million attempts to reach almost everyone... finally, a few guys were kind enough to answer my call. First, was my father...then, my friend Donna...and lastly, my bestfriend, Abbie. A little chit chats and "how are you -thing " made my day.=)

And it seems this very day is a NOT-SO ORDINARY DAY because Pacman won the fight against Mosley. I miss watching his games with my family and/or friends back home.


Since it's a Sunday, I woke up early and went to Kota Raya to meet my friend, Anndz ( who will be having her 2 week-vacation in the Philippines this Thursday). Just the thought of her going home, makes me feel a little envious. But of course, I can't be weak this time and quit...


I also met 2 other Filipinas while I was heading to Pasar Seni. Ate Liz and Ate Rose were friendly enough to talk to me while we're on the train. In the afternoon, I went to church with Roy and we lit some candles and had our prayers.  I asked God to enlighten my spirit and free my mind from all the worries that keep on boggling me in the past few days. I think, it really helped me a lot to get back on the track.


Luckily, this friend of mine is so fond of going places and likes  to spend his day off outside their condo. We ended up going in a mall called The Curve in Kota Damansara. It was a new sight for me so I enjoyed the luscious scenery that seems to fit for someone who is looking for solitude. After a couple of hours of shopping, where I got my Maybelline cosmetics at a discounted price =) , Roy and I went to Songbox for a videoke galore. How I wish  I have taken a video, or even a photo of him while singing Bohemian Rhapsody...  ^_^   I also had the chance to cross paths with Roy's friends, Naisa and Angel. We went home together around past in the evening.


The day passed by so fast and I didn't even notice that I almost went into an emotional outburst earlier on the same day. I think I'm getting more preposterous nowadays... (sigh)

생일축하합니다, Ange 언니 ! (Saeng il chuk ha ham ni da, Ange unni! )

It's my friend's birthday yesterday (May 3,2011) and we had a very simple celebration here  in the apartment.
It's her very first birthday abroad...

Ange's 25th birthday

We may not have a grandiose party but I hope we made her day special and for this be remembered of.
Included in the menu are the following:
> adobong manok
> vegetable salad
> nilagang baka
> pork liempo
> pancit
> strawberry - choco cake ( Angel)
> blue berry - choco cake
> Coca-cola      and
> Wall's ice cream ( Lava )

Once again, my dearest friend Ange ... 생일 축하해요 (saeng-il chukha-haeyo) !!


I wish you all the happiness and success in life... We love you! ^_^

A moment of reflection

Today's supposed to be my rest day /holiday . But here I am, still awake and doing another blog post instead of log-rolling myself and snoring to death on bed. I admit, I feel so down now-- that's why I'm into this kind of outlet AGAIN  early this morning...(sigh)


DISCLAIMER:

At this very moment, the idea just popped up in my head and I then decided to write about it. So, don't wonder if the arrangement of my sentences doesn't make sense anymore, okay?


Now, where  should I begin??? lol


Well, let me share some personal information by reflecting about the crucial part of my life's story:


FAMILY

 Being the eldest, my family and relatives' expectation is so high ( as in grabeh!) that I feel so pressured. Especially when I'm being compared to my other cousins ( na konti na lang, mukhang magiging 200 na ang mga  IQ nila).


The only daughter ( of my parents)-- I've tried to make some sacrifices for my two younger brothers ( which I feel that it's underappreciated ). I won't enumerate those anymore.


The prodigal daughter ( actually, it's only with my father). I'm miss pasaway, to the point that I'd do whatever it takes just for my will to be done. I left the house and got on AWOL for 2 years. hehehe





CAREER

I've launched my career in Pagadian City being a clinical instructor as my first job after I passed the NLE (2007).I only stayed there for 2 semesters. I've also tried to work as a staff nurse in a hospital and only lasted for 3 months.When I moved back to Tarlac (2008), I discovered a different career in the BPO industry. That's when I began to work as a Technical Support Representative in Pampanga and I survived my first call center company for 16months. Of course, soon enough when I started to look for  a better compensation, I then moved to Manila (2009) and found another company but still, being a TSR. As history doesn't repeat itself, I finally placed my resignation and moved ( again) to different place. This time, it was in Baguio (2010). My 3 months of stay while working as an ESL-online instructor (for Koreans) was all worth it (I truly mean it!). I've met a lot of people and a new circle of friends.I could  not say it was the best part of my life. However, I really made the most out of it.


After the long wait...this year, (at last) I've successfully made it to work here in Malaysia. I know this is not the end. It's only the beginning of a much greater challenges in life. I may have not succeeded in pursuing a career as a nurse, but the important thing is, I do enjoy my work and I know I can give my fullest potential in this field.



SOCIETY


I was well traveled back in the Philippines that's why I have different set of friends from all walks of life. I have no preference when it comes to making friends except  for a thing: you should be for REAL. What I mean by that is, I want someone whom you can put your trust and faith. In short, ayoko ng plastik.


Ever since, my life has been an open-book to many people. So, it's no wonder why many people intrude my personal life too.


I just let them do their thing...  as long as I'm happy and they don't mess up with me,  I don't  mind them at all.
I believe that everyone must have their own boundaries and/or limitations.



LOVELIFE

I had my first boyfriend ( with my mom's approval) when I was in 4th year high school.Me and Lhanz only lasted for more than a month but we eventually ended up still being good buddies.I won't be elaborating further on the other guys I had relationships with since they're not much of an importance. Too much heartache and frustration wouldn't be a good thing to talk about. There was this guy named Ton2x ( we lasted for a year) whom I had a romantic involvement with when I was in second year college.My longest relationship lasted for about 3 years--with Clark. We decided to break up since constant arguments did not make our relationship healthy back then. Yeah, until now, we still communicate once in a while.But I don't foresee any possibility of getting back together.Maybe because of the geographical distance we have right now. With all fairness, I learnt a lot from him and it made me more matured when it comes to taking a full responsibility of my actions.And then there was Mark.We've been together for a year but again, I finally broke off with him for some personal reasons.




All my past relationships had these ups and downs.
I gained so much experience on how to handle different problems of the heart and I thought it would be enough to make me stronger.
But then again, I was wrong...So wrong.


For I am facing another love issue and I  think this is new to me. I feel so helpless and dumb.




One of my status post in Facebook goes: " I like you but it isn't enough to make you mine..."   =(  





A big thanks to my friend Caz, ( who's actually gonna have her flight to Singapore this Friday), who gave me some enlightenment and encouragement as well, that I can surpass whatever it is about the matters of the heart.

And here are some of her words of wisdom:

"hayaan m na.. trust your instincts na lang."

" 'wag ka maconfuse sa pagmamahal at pakikisama"

But here's the most interesting part:

"learn to play with fire,okies?hehehe.

naku db dapat xa ang mas lalo maapektuhan at d ikaw?"

** Caz, thank you for the advice.I was just so shocked with the way our conversation went through  a while back. I hope to see you soon in SG. ^_^

** I started making this blog around 3AM  and now it's past 6 in the morning.Well, this is all for now and I'll  be posting some more 'til next time...=)

First broken heart in MY

The next few lines you are about to see are the second part of my previous post a few days ago...

I know that the person whom I intended this poem to, wouldn't possibly read it.

But still, let me share a part of my life to everyone who can relate (or sympathize) to this:

We've only known each other for a short time.

 However, I already developed a deeper feelings towards you for a fact. 

I know it may sound farcical yet, that's what I truly feel.

I don't know when it all started but I just found myself falling for you...seeing you not only just a friend, but more than that.

I keep on  telling myself that I need to trust my heart, as it does not hold back on making a yell.

I've been personally prepared of what's going to happen with this foolish emotion of mine.

I lack the courage to tell you, nor the guts to confront you of this crime.

So here I am, so afraid to let you know how much I care...more than my heart can dwell.

For it might be rejection, that's going to be the fruit of all this madness.

I cannot afford to lose nor recede whatever friendship we have built as it may possibly linger in time.

I'm afraid to get hurt, knowing that your heart is intended for someone else who's better than me.

Pretty as she looks in the photos, and it seems like you're meant to be.

Insecurity creeps within me and it feels like hell... 

Could I still be able to mend this broken heart and soon get well?

So, I wrote this poem to let this person I care for, be aware of one thing...

I am, with utmost sincerity, in love with him.

I know, he won't feel the same way like me.

But at least I've tried to extend my heart's symphony.

I still pray to God that He may just let me forget about you and move on with my life.

But I'm already satisfied with what we have right now.

Thank you for inspiring me throughout these challenges and helping me strive. 

Thank you for being there at all times, for being a friend and a  part of my life somehow.

May 01, 2011  4:50am (Sunday), Widuri Apt.,Taman Kosas, Ampang, Malaysia