Escape

I could hardly understand myself these past few weeks...

I get overly distracted...with some sudden switch of mood...and an impulsive decision-making thingy.

Getting easily annoyed and bitter over simple things.


I hate such feeling of depression that strikes like lightning; hurts like my heart is repeatedly hit by a hammer and then feeling the blood flowing down through my veins that activates this rushing adrenaline...

But I'm still trying my best to compose something...
Something worth being  read...
Out from nowhere .... the idea pops into my head.

I can come up with a LOT of words....adjectives to be exact--  that could best describe what I am feeling right now.....

Upset.
Discouraged.
Disappointed.
Bitter.
Envious.


And all these leads me to feel some  sort of emptiness....Like I'm:

Being rejected.
Unworthy.
Undesirable.
Being taken for granted.
and
Blaming myself and undergoing self-pity.



With this sudden realization that my thoughts are really not that bounty.
Right before my very eyes,instantly,I'm beginning to reflect why am I doing this.



It's definitely not just an ordinary self-assumption  but rather a hostile feeling of being stuck in between these abrasive twists and turns of life.

It's hard to arrange my thoughts, put it into words and make it like a professional girl's blogsite.



For some reason, I'd like to find my way out --- far from this labyrinth.

And this makes me feel sad ...makes me feel bad...makes me feel mad
(Coz I can't have all I have wanted and asked).