Realities of LIFE

Would there ever be FAIRNESS in this world?
As I always hear (and experience).... Life is indeed, UNFAIR.
Sad, but so TRUE.


Other people might just see you not as a person but just merely something to be used of.
Like a milking cow that they can suck up for all of it's nutrients without any limit.
Like a bank where they can draw out unlimited number of transactions without investing not even a single cent for a deposit.
Like a robot with no emotion--not even a chance of dropping a tear in the eye.
Like a plain dumb creature that's so helpless and left without any choice or option.


Now, what could this possibly mean?
Am I destined to be toyed around, looked down, or treated as an accessory?
For until this day, I don't completely understand the mystery that is still covering my fate.
Where do I begin?
And where do I end?


Life is starting to get gloomy and gloomy each day.
Is it worth fighting for?
Is it so precious to cherish a life that has existed in a complicated way?
Struggling to survive all the trials that I am facing.
But if I cannot take this anymore, then, I'll end up being just like everyone else--a LOSER.
Or rather be someone that's brittle enough to scatter...like a glass that is easy to break--a FAILURE.


Seems like there's no end to this...unless,  I END it myself.
We'll see how it goes.

Unsung Plea

If only I could, I would... shout to the world  how much I love you.
If only I could, I would... embrace you each day with the warmth of my heart.
If only I could, I would... not let you feel any sadness as I would catch all your suppressed tears and turn them into smiles.
If only I could, I would...take away your pain and sorrow so you will not have any worries.
If only I could, I would...be at your side--night and day, be your shelter with all my might.
If only I could, I would... watch the stars as they sparkle above the sky--in the midst of the darkness, I will let myself be your never-ending light.
If only I could, I would...fight for you, no matter what it takes, whatever battle it may be , wherever it may lead me.


If given a chance..and if you wouldn't ignore me, I will really say what my heart speaks out for ... all of this... if only I could.  But I don't have the courage to tell it straight to you,  face to face.


Then instead, let it be my unsung plea.

Byul

Param-kyori cha-ngeu-heun-teul-go
Nae kiman-han cha-gun naye bang wi-ro
Arum-taun-ke pyul-bit-durun
Kaduk chae-wo-chuneyo
Sel-su-obshi manhunt pyul-tu-reun
Ji-chyo-in-nun na-reul oru-man-chimyo
Nae mam-soge katok tamun
Nun-mul tak-ka shu-neyo
Man-hyi apa-ha-ji-ma
Nal kkung anun-chae
Tado-kyojumyo chal-jara
Wero-hae ju-neyo
Goshi mo-thal man-kum
Hime gyowa apa-wado
Nun-muri a-peul kar-yowado
Gatchi-mothan nae sarang apedo
Na usul-lae-yu
Cham-shira-do gyote
Haeng-bo-khaet-don giok-turul
Ga-sume gan-ji-khal-kkeyo
Tunune sunoh-a-jin
Cho pyol-deul-cho-rom yongwonhi
Kkumul kku-deut taka-uneyo
Yu-nu-nhi-do balkun naye byol hana
Nunbu-shi-mi panjja-gimyo
Okkae-wiro naer-yo-wa
Jakku sulpo-hajima
Son kkong chabun-chae
Nal manchyo-jumyo
Tta-seu-hi nal kamssa-shu-neyo
Goshi mo-thal man-kum
Hime gyowa apa-wado
Nun-muri a-peul kar-yowado
Gatchi-mothan nae sarang apedo
Na usul-lae-yu
Cham-shira-do gyote
Haeng-bo-khaet-don giok-turul
Ga-seum-soge gan-chikhal-kke-yo
Tunune sunoh-ajin
Cho pyol-deul-chorom ooohhhh
Na onul-manun anu-royu
Nun-muri kadokchowado
Chogi cho byol-deul-chorom
Na u-seul-lae-yo ooohhhh
Haeng-bokhaet-don giok-modu
Ga-sume gan-ji-khal-kkeyo
Tunune sunoh-a-jin
Cho pyon-deul-cho-rom
Yongwonhi

Thanks, Bro!

Dear God,

You really have heard all my prayers... It's just that You don't simply answer all of them at one time. Though I know I can't have all of those in a snap... But, I'm so grateful to You (as always) for hearing my petitions. I am truly thankful as You constantly shower me with Your blessings...I may not be Your ever obedient follower but in You, I entrust my life.


Thank you Lord! ^_^

Just one of those many days...

If I'm gonna ask myself as to what am I good at, I would think of the word.... pretending.


Yes, all my life, I've been struggling to survive and be an expert when in comes to independency.
It flatters me whenever I hear my friends and acquaintances say that I'm a tough woman.
I've been through a LOT.
Trials, frustrations, failures, rejection, and betrayal... to name a few.
However, I consider them as part of the challenges in life.


Some people come and go...some people will stay til the end, and some people will just pass by to teach you valuable lessons in life.
Experiences which will mold your personality and make you somewhat invincible.
But no matter how strong these challenges have made me become who I am... still,to no avail,  there's a weak part of me that supersedes my drive for this battle-- emotion.


If it's my birth month (February) or my birth year (Year of the Rabbit) is to blame, that, I do not know.
It's sickening to think that despite the hardships and sufferings I've familiarized myself with, in just one snap of this stupid emotion, it'll just break me down.
And with that, how I feel sorry for myself to be defeated of  my utmost willpower to strive for my existence. In the end, I will still be the one to reap all the failures.


I can't count on how million times I tried to fake a smile-or I guess, tried my very best to cover the pain so that it won't be too obvious to other people about what I am going through.
Many times, I've thought of destroying myself as I've come to the ultimate peak of giving up.
Many nights, I've wondered how far will I ever tolerate this.



It's so hard to keep on forcing myself to be happy.
Because the truth is, I am more than being empty and filled with sadness.
Feels like the whole world is pointing its fingers at me.
Blaming me and only myself for being miserable.



I've tried to scream alone as no one will and no has surely heard of me.
I've cried a river of tears, knowing that it could somehow ease the burden in my heart.
I'm getting tired of fighting.
I'm getting tired of pretending that I am okay-because I'M NOT.  :'(