Prose of the Heart

Either having the endurance to sustain or  the ability to conceal the emotions inside of me,
Is the kind of battle between my mind and heart which can no longer be contained nor be set free.
And yet I know this must vanish or let myself die with ambiguity.
With the gravity of the consequences I can no longer hide nor handle even my integrity.




As it goes with the words "believing" and "dreaming" for in my opinion is never alike.
But now, it's as if they are inseparably gleaming as the truth beholds, and it never was a lie.
Crafted by despair,  as it abandoned me while I was unaware that it wasn't a blissful dream but rather a nightmare that seems it could never finish.
Then I got myself completely awake as it goes through my consciousness, it gradually diminished.




I took a deep breath as I let my spirit out just like music, playing as I beat the crease.
As I now begin to touch my heart while hearing it thumpin' a thousand times like it will never stop.
You might be thinking how was I able to endure all these pain?
Because in the first place I knew that you were never mine nor will you look at me like sunshine.
Then I weep, cried and fainted in sorrow--almost letting myself drop.
Realizing all of this since the day my heart was broken into pieces.




And now, after all this time, I could say that life's obstacles moulded me to become a stronger person.
Inch by inch, I crawled with those goals I seek and hunger.
But how come when the lights go dim, I stay at a dark corner and it all ends up to be you-and only you, who I long for.




I'm not so glad to be the only one...
This is not what I intended to happen.
Seems like a jinx just stole all the happiness I could've gotten.
I might have just fooled myself but this certainly did not keep me laughin'.




Now I find this feeling so despicable.
I know for a fact that this leads to nothing.
Either I give up or end up losing something.
Including the love of a friend who, for me, means everything.